Velvet Snow

So it’s been an interesting few weeks. First, let me tell you about this dream I had. Why was I dating Eric Balfour? And if you just asked yourself “Who?”, you’re not alone. I was so unsure if that’s who it actually was that I had to look him up when I woke up. But it was definitely Eric Balfour. This was especially funny because I haven’t seen anything with him in it in years, so it’s not like I just saw him on TV and then dreamed of him, and I don’t even find him attractive. Had I dreamed of, say, Orlando Bloom for no reason, I wouldn’t even question it. Anyway, I went to a courthouse and police station type building to visit him, so it’s possible somewhere in there I was thinking about the show Conviction, which is the only thing I could remember him on without looking it up (Don’t get me wrong, he’s all over the place, confirmed by IMDb, but I couldn’t name a thing except Conviction). I walked in and everyone knew me and said hi, I walked through the police station and down a hall and into his office, where some tawdry goings-on occurred. And dude was tall as hell. I looked it up, he’s 6’2”, but he was like 7 even in the dream. He had to actually bend down to kiss me. It was weird. Anyway, enough of that.

I finally bought my tickets for Phoenix. I’m insanely excited now. Just put in for my vacation time, and I am all set. I can’t wait! Going to get my ‘hurr did’ a few days before I go. Before I leave, I have to remember to change the layout at RA. It’s inspired by a number of August events, all of which make me very happy.

Now… onto the real reason I’m here. Since I am again being “encouraged” to “settle down”, I’d like to reiterate that I’m not just going to “settle down” with just anything that moves, and it’s getting on my last nerve when you attempt blatant set-ups. STOP THAT. That reminds me, I’m considering asking a certain individual to be my date, but since I’ll be up at the head table all through dinner, I don’t want to leave him alone, so I might not. If I do go solo, if anyone – ANYONE – tries to set me up with ANY of the guests at the wedding, I will leave. If I should so choose to chat up someone, that is my business. Don’t you dare rattle off someone’s “good points”, thinking that they’re all the traits that I’m looking for, and expect to start planning the wedding.

And to further clarify, let me show you this. I started writing this for one story, about half way through I realized it works better for a different story, so I did some light editing, and once I was finished I realized that, of course, this is really my opinion more than any of my characters. Anywhatsits, this was actually a conversation, not a monologue, but I cleaned it up a bit to make it like a mini speech for the purpose of posting here (and so that you can’t tell which story it’s gonna end up in).

This is what I’ll be able to say when I do meet someone I want to “settle down” with, and until then, you all need to back the fuck up outta my face:
“Because I’m a confident, independent woman who knows exactly who she is, what she wants, and what she deserves. And with that, comes the knowledge of what I don’t want, and I will never make do with anything less just to placate the expectations of society, my family, my friends, or anyone else. Your [brother/son/father/best friend] is a strong, intelligent man, just as secure in his own skin as I am, sincere, and passionate, but never jealous. He loves and adores his family, always putting them before himself and even before me, for which I can do nothing but respect him that much more. He inspires me and he challenges me. Not one day can go by without him reminding me that I am nothing but equal to any man on this earth, while never letting me forget that I’m a woman. I love him, and I’ve waited a very long time to be able to say that about anyone. I never thought I would, but then I met him.”
(the [brother/son/father/best friend] bit is intended to protect the secrecy of the story)

And that, my friends, is that. So until that day comes, and you will know, leave me alone. It’s not like all my problems will be solved if I get married tomorrow. Will I have a new car? My bills will all be paid? I’ll be out of debt? My credit score will go up? My hair will cooperate in the summer? I’ll lose 30 pounds? Will all this happen magically overnight? If it will, I’ll talk some sucker into eloping in Niagara Falls this weekend. But no, it doesn’t annoy the shit out of me to constantly be set up. *eyeroll*

I'm so insanely exhausted right now, by the way, so I'm going to bed. I'm fully aware that it's barely 11 on a Saturday night in Buffalo, but I barely made it through this post (in fact, I'm pretty sure I dozed off twice). Gotta work with some more dummies tomorrow, so I need all the rest I can get.